Anxiety

I didn't realize that it has been six days since I last updated. Having family over and getting busy really has worn me out. But now it is time to buckle back down and keep going.

I am starting my new manuscript as well as continuing the sequel to my first one. Yes, I may confuse myself, but I think I have things pretty organized in my head. (No, that is not a joke. I truly believe this.) The big problem I am facing right now is my anxiety over writing my query letter and sending it off to an agent who is a top choice, I feel. Let me just tell you that writing query letters is pure torture. So much depends on what you fit onto one little page and how you say it. If one thing is off, you get Mr. Rejection letter; if you're lucky. There is always the deafening silence of no reply, which kills a bit of your soul.

So, you can see how this for me (the epitome of anxiety and worry) is an overly stressful thing. But unfortunately it needs to be done. The process in the next few days will require tears, sleepless nights, nausea, much praying and for good measure, a trip to the temple.

But I am trying to be strong and optimistic since Doug is stressed with his job. I don't want to add to his problems so I am trying to keep the phrases of "Enduring to the End" and "Never Give Up" circulating through my thoughts.

I realize this is a more somber post than my last few, and I apologize for that. Right now though, I just need that release and therapy of unloading my worries. Even if no one reads it, or even cares for that matter, it has at least been put into words and in that I find a small piece of solace.