Where's the Off Switch?

It's one of the seven deadly sins, but to be honest, I envy some people.

Now, it isn't so much for what the have physically or what they look like, but rather what they can do.

Not worry and not stress.

I don't possess such an ability. I think when they were handing out "off" switches for the brain, I must have grabbed the super powered "on" switch instead, because my mind never quits. And let me assure you it doesn't always have to be about things going on right now in my life. Yeah, I have a lot of worries right now and I am exercising my tiny dollop of patience to its full extent, but I can worry about things that happened years ago as well. I am apparently not prejudice towards past events.

And when is the perfect time to do all of this worrying and fretting? Why, in the middle of the night of course!

I struggle with all of my thoughts when trying to go to sleep, which means bedtime is extended to an extra hour or so, that is spent trying to find that dang off switch. Finally I think the battery loses power and I finally fall asleep for a couple of hours.

Cue neighborhood dog, neighbor's noisy junker, our own dog, or my wonderful husband's snoring. Pretty much anything and everything to wake me up.

Okay all of you thoughts and worries, let's all hop in; and yes crowding is permitted and even encouraged. (I don't send out this beacon call, but apparently I picked that up as well without knowing.)

So, now at 4 am, it is prime time to lay awake in the dark and think about all of the things worrying me right now, as well as things that happened 10-15 years ago. Because you know I have so much power to change those events.

Then there is workout time. I have heard this urban myth that it allows one to be able to work off their stress and clear their mind.

Um, yeah, like I said, urban myth.

I workout and I am nearly completely consumed with a cramped mind. The only difference is now I am holding 25 pound weights above myself and trying to stay on count. Not, exactly ideal timing for the mind to be focused on something else. But hey, like I said, I don't have that off switch.

So those are my nights. That is (one) of the reasons I hate working out. I envy the people out there who can flick the imaginary switch at the same time they flick the light switch. I envy those who love working out because they feel recharged and less stressed. But that isn't how my brain works. It is a constant Walmart line of thoughts. I check one out and another is right behind it, each with their own full shopping cart.

Man, could you imagine if I started hearing voices?


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Oh, I'm sorry I missed that. Did you just say something?